Senioritis?

So, I haven't done my home work in weeks. Well, I have done some errant reading when I knew there would be reading quizzes, and I wrote one short essay(of three). I just can't get into. I don't know what's wrong with me. Depression, confusion, burnt-out, messed-up schedule, or just run-of-the-mill Senioritis. You know, that affliction that usually attacks high school seniors right before they are done. All they want to do is skip class and reminisce. But I am not a high school senior. I am in my 17th year of school, a College Senior, ready to start my career, already in the throws of adulthood. Let's look at the facts. . .

The second week of March I had mid-terms, so I had to study and write papers for those. That is the last time I did serious HW. After that I was driving my mom back and forth from the hospital to see my grandma, and helping her around her house after her surgery. Then, I stayed at my grandma's house basically waiting for her die and reading a novel to distract myself from crying all the time. So, 10 days of not studying.

Them my grandma passed. I wasn't crying anymore, but I wasn't feeling anything else either. I told my teachers what happened, and they were understanding. Gave me extensions and offered office hours to discuss the work. One teacher suggested dropping, but with all my six classes required for graduation in six weeks, that wasn't an option.

So, I did a little bit of studying, but still couldn't get into it in the week leading up to Grandma's memorial. After the memorial, I was feeling things, but my whole rhythm had been interupted. How do you get back into a pattern of life when a main part of your life is gone?

That Friday I chose to go on a spur of the moment trip to see my friend, and also decided to see my mom and grandpa. That led to my car accident (see blog entry below). I have never been in an accident, and it really messed me up. Like, how many more things can go wrong?

Now, back in school, able to try and get into the pattern of life again, I just can't seem to do it. I have papers open on my screen waiting to be researched and written. Prompts at the top of the page, book on the desk, unread. I can't seem to make myself study. I am one who has never had to try for B's, and hope for A's with little extra effort. Not because I'm so much smarter than everbody else, but because studying was just part of life, not an extra effort. This semester, I am hoping for C's.

So, what is it holding me back? Depression? Maybe. Laziness? Probably. Burnt-out? Deffinately. Senioritis? Who knows. . .